do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
