would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
