Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
