Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
