maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
