I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
