I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
