I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
