You're so nebulous sometimes
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
