I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize