She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
