I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
