so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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