tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there was a trapeze. enough said
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize