she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
