Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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