wrigley field is MILF paradise
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We had to coat check the pizza.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
