I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Im part way to drunk.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
