Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize