I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
