she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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