The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
