apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
