yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
