my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
