i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
