Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Congratulations! We have a period
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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