So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
