apparently the secret to your success is patron
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All I want is dick and wine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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