We're like a lot better than the average bears
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
