So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize
