now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
