my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize