I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
