id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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