just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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