who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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