she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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