Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
