can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I could fuck to npr.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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