I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize