Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
