first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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