Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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