new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
