clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
