Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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