Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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