I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
