I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
