Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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