Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize