I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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