so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
