Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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