You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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