Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
