He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
