in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize