none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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