Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Success! We fucked roommates!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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