i think i have herpe
just one?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my being single is dangerous.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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