This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
soo... how was my night?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
