Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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