you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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