I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
