If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I will pee on everything he values.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize