New invention idea: vibrating tampons
vagina is talking i cant
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
