remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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