It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
