ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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