Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize