this boner is exhausting
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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