at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize