She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
