I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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