Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
